Sad news in River City today. The Bulldog has been tragically killed in an industrial accident here in Ottawa.
We probe the causes of the death by way of a Top 10 list:
10. Bulldog mysteriously killed under wheels of City of Ottawa lawnmower covered in hamburger;
9. “People and canines must exercise more care around municipal equipment,” Mayor Jim Watson says.
8. Police Chief Charles Bordeleau says “no foul play” suspected in Bulldog death;
7. Coroner’s jury rules Mayor Jim Watson should not operate motorized equipment again;
6. Watson reads 30-second eulogy at Bulldog funeral, then attends seven other events that afternoon;
5. Watson declares Day Without Tweeting in memory of Bulldog, names Porta Potty after Bulldog, cuts ribbon to open it, attends 73 events that same day;
4. Bulldog buried in another light-rail tunnel sinkhole in touching ceremony;
3. Watson declares burial “on-time and on-budget”;
2. Watson and city council unanimously approve 113-storey condo atop Bulldog grave “just to make sure he stays in there”. Zoning calls for six storeys;
1.City manager Steve Kanellakos says municipal lawnmowers will no longer be covered in hamburger. “A dangerous practice,” Kanellakos says. “Someone could get killed.”
Mayor Jim Watson eating hamburger minutes before shocking death of The Bulldog.
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