Reasons Mayor Would Cut Bake Sales: Top 10 List






Now we enter the world of fantasy.

What if Mayor Jim Watson said he was cutting down on the number of bake sales he attends?

What would be his reasoning? We examine this through a Top 10 list.


Top 10 Reasons Watson Would Cut Down On His Bake Sales

10. Seniors’ topless bake sale left me traumatized.

9. Even my imaginary Twitter friends won’t go with me;

8. My swagger is a waddle;

7. Sick of hearing “How’s your pelvis?”

6. Some of these !?#%& didn’t vote for me;

5. Chiarelli borrowed limo, scratched it;

4. Kids were expecting Spartacat, then got me:

3. Tired of being mistaken for Bullwinkle the Moose;

2. Thought I’d hang out around the office a bit for a change;

1. Finally got a date.


Photo above: The mayor’s alter ego.


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4 thoughts on “Reasons Mayor Would Cut Bake Sales: Top 10 List

  1. Cut the bake sale attendance in half and you still have the head of the city away from his job far too often. Or perhaps he should absent himself more so there is less interference in audits and such?

  2. The only reason that Mayor Jim Watson would cut down on bake sales is to diversify into another branch of public PR, say something like charity book sales. Indeed, book bazaars are still quite popular at schools and churches in Ottawa.

    Maybe Watson could also make a donation from his personal library. Of course, not his first editions but extra copies from his extensive collection, for example: The Prince by Machiavelli; How to be a Mayor for Dummies; The Idiot’s Guide to Snowmobiles; Hair Care for Professional Models; Hollywood Celebrity for Ordinary People; Understanding Media by Marshall McLuhan; Around the World in 80 Days; 1984; Brave New World; and Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland.

    Also, Watson has many unopened boxes of bound copies of the city budget. I’m certain that an autograph booth could be set up for Watson to write a personal message to the book bazaar participants who are keen to delve deeper into the details of the City of Ottawa budget. Indeed, every Ottawan should have a copy on their bedside table.


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