Sheriff Watson Comes To Town: Toppy 10 List

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Sheriff Jim
Sheriff Jim

Oh thar’s gangs out thar but they’ve a-met thar match. Sheriff Jim’s a-come a-town.

All those bad guys are a-runnin’ for da Gatyno Hills ’cause they know thar’s no reasonin’ with da Sheriff once he gets up a-head-uh steam.

Pity da poor varmint who stand ‘tween da Sheriff and justice. Lak’ standin’ ‘tween Mike Duffy and yer tasty viddles. Nevarr knew what hit ya.

Yessirree Sheriff Watson’s a-takin’ no prizners. And the only way we can tell ya ’bout da scrourge uh da Sheriff is with one a-dem Toppy 10 Lists that yer Bulldoggie lak so much.

So har’s the list for da Toppy 10 ways Sheriff Jim gonna whup O-Town’s gangs.

Call it Gunfight At The O-Town Corral. They be a-makin’ uh movie. Be scarred.

Yippy-aye-oh-kai-yay.

Get along lil’ bull doggies.

Harrd rain gonna fall. Toppy 10 List foller dis big ad:

Top 10 ways Mayor Jim Watson will deal with Ottawa’s gangs:

10. Prosecute gang members under noise bylaw;

9. See if gang members park longer than three hours on city street. Issue ticket;

8. Let parks and recreation handle it;

7. Talk to gang members … appeal to their better side;

6. Say many times how complicated this problem is and only the police chief and the mayor really understand it;

6a. Mayor tries to understand it;

5. Arrest Conservative gang leader John Baird. Keep him locked up for 100 days;

4. Let Airport Parkway Bridge fall on gang members;

3. Drone on about nothing for so long that gang members run screaming to Montreal with hands over ears;

2. Posse rounded up. Runs off NCC gang;

1. Armed guards at west-end bake sales. Can’t have the mayor catch a ricochet.

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