Oh thar’s gangs out thar but they’ve a-met thar match. Sheriff Jim’s a-come a-town.
All those bad guys are a-runnin’ for da Gatyno Hills ’cause they know thar’s no reasonin’ with da Sheriff once he gets up a-head-uh steam.
Pity da poor varmint who stand ‘tween da Sheriff and justice. Lak’ standin’ ‘tween Mike Duffy and yer tasty viddles. Nevarr knew what hit ya.
Yessirree Sheriff Watson’s a-takin’ no prizners. And the only way we can tell ya ’bout da scrourge uh da Sheriff is with one a-dem Toppy 10 Lists that yer Bulldoggie lak so much.
So har’s the list for da Toppy 10 ways Sheriff Jim gonna whup O-Town’s gangs.
Call it Gunfight At The O-Town Corral. They be a-makin’ uh movie. Be scarred.
Get along lil’ bull doggies.
Harrd rain gonna fall. Toppy 10 List foller dis big ad:
10. Prosecute gang members under noise bylaw;
9. See if gang members park longer than three hours on city street. Issue ticket;
8. Let parks and recreation handle it;
7. Talk to gang members … appeal to their better side;
6a. Mayor tries to understand it;
5. Arrest Conservative gang leader John Baird. Keep him locked up for 100 days;
4. Let Airport Parkway Bridge fall on gang members;
3. Drone on about nothing for so long that gang members run screaming to Montreal with hands over ears;
2. Posse rounded up. Runs off NCC gang;
1. Armed guards at west-end bake sales. Can’t have the mayor catch a ricochet.
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