The Rights Of Men: Top 10 List


Canada Day will have as one of its themes this year the women’s movement.


And not to denigrate the cause of women, which is serious and most certainly worth promoting and encouraging, but what about a men’s theme for Canada Day?

Why it’s our country, too.

So by way of a Top 10 list, we explore the rights of men:


What Rights Should Men Be Granted On Canada Day?

10. A decree to ensure that baseball pitchers can scratch themselves on national TV;

9. The right of World Cup soccer players to embarrassingly shield their junk in front of hundreds of millions of fans when blocking free kicks;

8. The right of soccer players to writhe in agony when, despite shielding one’s junk, it still results in getting one right in the … you know;

7. The right to laugh and yell “ding dong” at baseball practices when one of your teammates gets one in the … you know.

6. To use all the world as men’s toilets;

5. To sit unshaven and unwashed watching five straight baseball games while drinking beer, eating cheetos and belching;

4. The right to ignore your wife when she says: “Don’t you have anything better to do than watch five baseball games?” and then say “no” (because it is true);

3. To spit from a hockey bench and watch it freeze on the ice;

2. The right to fall asleep after sex;

1. The right to be completely and utterly confused by women because they are smarter than we are. We don’t have a chance.


OK, Minister Melanie Joly. You still have time to enact these before Canada Day. The Bulldog has given you and Canadian Heritage a head start.

And maybe next year, minister, we could have some themes that are fun? Canada Day is a celebration and a party, you know, and it has been pretty tough to be a Canadian recently.


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One thought on “The Rights Of Men: Top 10 List

  1. Ken: You note “… and it has been pretty tough to be a Canadian recently.” Thank you. To anyone else who’s been paying attention, I think they’ll agree you’re absolutely correct.


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