First Nightmayor, Next Giant Shawarma

You know when your mayor makes an announcement, you kind of hope for something big.

Something like, a plan to fix the light-rail project, how to make Lansdowne 2.0 better than the failure Lansdowne 1.0, a plan to achieve world peace and eliminate hunger (might be a jurisdictional problem there but no matter), or how to get the caramel into a Caramilk Bar. God bless ‘im.


But no, what we hope for is not necessarily what we get. Instead, we get the announcement of our new nightmayor.

LRT can do what it will, the new central library can wallow in even more budget overruns, but give us bread and circuses.

The advantage to the nightmayor is that council even understands it. And it will get photo-op chances all over the place. Paramedics will be on standby in case of a politician hurt in the stampede to get into a photo.

Next petty project? A four-storey-high, environmentally sustainable, with four affordable housing units, giant honkin’ shawarma in the middle of Festival Plaza.

You think the nightmayor is big? Wait for shawarma-palooza.

Oh yes, reporters, don’t forget to register as per Happy Town News dictates for this bit of pablum. Government controlled freedom of the press. From the release, we guess business attire is optional for the news conference. Don’t forget to smile when the grip-and-grin photo is taken. Don’t say cheese. Say shawarma.

This is a release from the City of Ottawa:

City to announce new Nightlife Commissioner

Ottawa – Media are invited to join Mayor Mark Sutcliffe as he officially introduces the City of Ottawa’s Nightlife Commissioner. Following brief remarks, Mayor Mark Sutcliffe and the Nightlife Commissioner will be available to answer questions.

Date: Tuesday, June 11

Time: 9:30 am

Location: Mayor’s Reception Area, Ottawa City Hall, 110 Laurier Avenue West

Media can register by emailing


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3 Responses

  1. Ron Benn says:

    Puffs of smoke. Handfuls of glitter thrown in the air. A loud trumpet blare from behind. All meant to distract the audience while … hold on, the elephants remain on stage. Which elephants? Ken’s list (above) is incomplete, but a good start.

  2. Merrill Smith says:

    Every time I see Mayor Sutcliffe on TV or see his name somewhere I find myself wondering if he’s ever had an idea of his own or if he’s only a puppet for the developers and other interests. He doesn’t look like he’s enjoying himself. What are the odds he will decide not to run for re-election?

  3. Annette Goldenberg says:

    Hey, I’m not even sure if I can figure all this garbage out. But we need a night mayor like we all need holes in our heads. Big announcement who cares? What a waste of money. The stupid city cries that they can’t afford this and can’t afford that. What a bunch of crap. I just read that the city found millions of dollars I think is was about the empty houses that people paid taxes on. At this point, I’m not sure where they found the money. But I keep hearing that they have lots of money for things that are not an necessity. I watch a lot of news from other cities in Canada and the only place I read and hear about, only Ottawa has all these dumb stupid problems. Again, it’s the mayor, and all his so-called counsellors. They should all go immediately and somehow find people who are responsible to run a city. As a capital of Canada everyone in Ottawa should be completely ashamed of Ottawa. And as a closing the last thing that the city does not know how to figure out is what to do with our garbage. I know dump it all at this new “night mayor’s place” or the mayor of Ottawa’s house.

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