Stanley Champagne Shower? No Alberta Crude

The Beaverton takes you into the Edmonton Oilers dressing room:

Following a 2-1 victory over the Dallas Stars, the Edmonton Oilers celebrated their advancement to the 2024 Stanley Cup Final by spraying their entire locker room with hundreds of barrels of Alberta crude bitumen.

“We’re coming for the Cup! WOO!” yelled captain Connor McDavid, spraying viscous black liquid into the faces of his victorious teammates. Following a power play goal from McDavid, as well as a goal from left winger Zach Hyman, the team elected to celebrate in the traditional Albertan manner.

While the gallons of unprocessed bitumen sprayed over the Rogers Place lockers rooms currently represent a cost of up to $55 US per barrel, the team assures reporters that it is worth it.


To read this breaking news story, click here.

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