Mayo Clinic Saves Sandwich In A Pickle
This is how thoroughly and quickly the U.S. health system responds to a medical emergency:
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ROCHESTER, MN — Reports are coming in that a ham and cheese sandwich suffered a grievous injury in its internal ingredients, necessitating medical evacuation to the Mayo Clinic.
“This is about as serious a case as I’ve ever seen,” said presiding sandwich physician Dr. M. Whip. “We’re running tests and prepping our knives for surgery.”
“I had a sense something wasn’t right,” said the sandwich’s purchaser Melanie Rocha of Fredericton, NB. “The toothpick fell out, the cheese curled up in the corners in a defensive sneer, and the ham started oozing a strange viscous fluid. I knew this needed attention from a professional.”
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To read the full story from the Beaverton, click here.
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Clearly, they won’t get the very best care anywhere in the US, even at the rightly-venerated Mayo Clinic. Had she come to one of our superior Canadian sandwich facilities, she would know already that she shouldn’t have used white bread. With whole wheat bread, you rarely experience these issues.
In addition, in Canada you would have had the choice, with a ham sandwich, of mustard or mayo depending on which of the two solitudes you were from. Hopefully, she can resolve this in time for lunch.