City Hall Security: An Affront And Embarrassment

Below is a critique of city hall security advertising on the municipal government website ottawa.ca.

The city advertising is in plain type while The Bulldog’s critiques are in boldface:

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The City of Ottawa will be implementing enhanced security measures at City Hall, starting May 26 (and yet this is the lede story on ottawa.ca on June 14?).

Over the years, security risks and incidents have evolved (now there’s an interesting word ‘evolve’ … translated into English … does that mean more? … does that mean fewer? Hard to say … have they evolved into to become less dangerous or more dangerous? …  have they evolved into something more user friendly? … and when was the last time you heard through the media of a security threat at Ottawa City Hall? … has there ever been a security incident at city hall reported in the media? … too bad the thinking city hall doesn’t evolve – particularly the thinking about security screening) resulting in various levels of government updating their security procedures for entry into their administrative and legislative centres. As a result, the City will be adopting security screening measures, which is a best practice model (a catch phrase for “we’re doing the right thing” which in fact staff might not be doing) that it is currently in place in other public-facing government buildings (what is a “public-facing government building” … is this in contrast to a posterior-facing government building?)  in the national capital region, as well as at City Hall buildings in Toronto, Edmonton and Montreal (does that make added security correct? … well no, just that those other cities have security screening).

Ottawa City Hall will remain a welcoming environment for all (yes nothing says “welcome”  like being frisked by an electronic wand all over your body … perhaps guests coming to my home having dinner could be welcomed by a good frisking … “taking off your belt please”) – a place to conduct civic business, to engage, and to celebrate (yes, celebrate like you’re a potential terrorist at an airport … of course, celebrate, put that laptop with all your personal information in it through an x-ray … oops, hard-drive wiped clean … let’s celebrate). Operating hours are from 8 am to 5 pm, seven days a week (so much for evening celebrations).

All visitors entering City Hall will be asked to use the Laurier Avenue West and Lisgar Street entrances. Visitors are required to have their bags screened and go through a metal detector, much like they would at professional sports venues (or an airport where terrorist threats are real … at city hall, the detectors are keeping Kanata South Councillor Allan Hubley safe for democracy).

The screening process will be efficient, respectful and courteous (yes, nothing screams with respect like taking off your belt and shoes). Bilingual guidance and directions will be provided throughout by security personnel (so you can be humiliated in both official languages), as well as through signage displayed inside and outside the facility. To avoid any delays, visitors should ensure they do not carry any of the following prohibited items (god forbid you delay the lightening fast governance at Ottawa City Hall with the new library to be late and light rail wrong and woefully late.):

Sharp objects, blades or tools (tools … well that will eliminate the plumber coming to fix an overflowing toilet)
Compressed gas cylinders, aerosol cans, or powders
Explosive or flammable items (most clothing burns … does that mean we need to enter city hall stark naked?)
Weapons – including toy replicas (where is the long history of weapons being taken into city hall?)
Noisemakers, megaphones or air horns (ah, now we get to the real reason for security … to discourage uncomfortable protests directed at the comfortable)
Large placards or signs (that are not made of cardboard or cloth) (wait a second … aren’t cardboard or cloth flammable?)

Security screening process

During the Security screening process visitors will be required to:

Place all personal items including coats, cell phones, laptops, purses, bags and the contents of their pockets onto a tray for x-ray screening (good grief)
Walk through a metal detector
Accommodations will be made available upon request for people with disabilities or other individualized needs. The City’s security screening procedures account for special circumstances/considerations and security staff have received accessibility training.

Visitor access to City Hall on weekends

On weekends, access to City Hall will be limited to the Laurier Avenue West entrance; however, people with disabilities arriving at the Lisgar Street entrance can call for assistance by using an intercom located near the exterior doors.

No changes are being made to parking garage accessibility; the City Hall parking garage will continue to be open 24/7. (that makes a mockery of security) On weekends, however, visitors entering City Hall from the parking garage by elevator are required to use the elevators on the Laurier Avenue West side.

This is a transcript of the security video above:

When you’re visiting Ottawa City Hall, you will need to go through security screening.

This ensures a safe environment for all visitors and staff (you mean city hall isn’t safe? … do three decades with no incidents mean city hall is unsafe?)

Security screening will be conducted in a respectful, efficient and considerate manner (what’s the alternative? … disrespectful, inefficient and inconsiderate? What’s respectful about taking off your belt and shoes?).

City Hall security personnel will guide visitors through the screening process.

First, you will then need to place any keys, electronic devices, wallets, belts, coats, bags, and coins in a basket to be scanned by an Xray machine.

Then you will need to pass through a metal detector.

You may also need to have a secondary search with a metal-detector wand.

You can ask security for special arrangements for accessible and medical needs, including those with pacemakers

To avoid any delays, do not bring prohibited items, such as:

• Weapons, including toy replicas (so security finds a
• Sharp objects, blades or tools
• Aerosol cans
• Noisemakers, megaphones or air horns (so that the comfortable will remain comfortable and not uncomfortable)
• Large placards or signs (wait a second … in a previous reference placards could only be made of cloth or cardboard, now they can’t be large. What’s large? Any size? … how long will it take for restriction to evolve into no placards)

Once security gives you the clearance, you can collect your items from the bin (so if security doesn’t give you clearance, can they keep your items?).

That’s it! (that’s way, way too much)

Thank you for keeping Ottawa City Hall safe for everyone (it already was safe … and on behalf of the people of Ottawa, thank you for wasting our time, money and embarrassing us).

Critiques by Ken Gray

For You:

What Happened To Objective City Reports? BENN

Invest Ottawa Needs Transparency: STANKOVIC

City Cash Liability Undecided In Taxi Case

City Security … First Person: BENN

City Hall Scanners An Inside Choice: CULLEN

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