City Newsletter’s Breaking News: TOP 10 LIST

Published 09/11/2025 · Updated 09/11/2025

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The city’s media relations department will create a weekly newsletter, due to public demand, reporting on Ottawa City Hall.

The department, known colloquially as Happy Town News, will cover city hall from its happy bias … making city hall look good (an almost impossible task). The working title for the new publication is Even Happier Town News. Its slogan is Sunny News From A Dark Place.

We explore this issue, as ever, by way of a Top 10 List:

Top 10 Headlines From New City Happy News Newsletter:
10. “City recycles methane from council meetings”
9. “Mayor no longer mayor, now Great Helmsman”
8. “George Orwell appointed city newsletter first editor”
7. “City replaces speed cameras with muggers”
6. “Train runs 10 minutes in a row”
5. “Five methods to avoid bus-shelter frostbite”
4. “Board game to play while waiting for bus. Monopoly”
3. “Happy Town News now 30 per cent happier”
2. “Insurer covers councillors’ no doze”
1. “Council chamber named designated drinking park”

Ken Gray