How To NIMBY Your Problem: CRERAR

Published 07/27/2025 · Updated 07/27/2025

So many books, so little time. So many acronyms, so little time – SMASLT.

When acronyms first crept into our daily lives, primarily via the high-tech sector, small groups of people who understood what they meant seemed to be communicating in a mystical language that none of us mere mortals understood. Since the turn of the century the propagation of acronyms throughout our daily lives has made effective communication more difficult for everyone. Because it’s impossible to keep track of every acronym and what the letters represent, especially for those with multiple meanings, it’s time we returned to real-speak.

At first I was confused by NIMBY until someone on The Bulldog erred and revealed the magic code words. Wouldn’t it be clearer if we did away with this acronym, returned to the time-tested real-speak equivalent, and just said “No way Jose!”?

In late-June Clarke Kelly, city councilor for West Carleton-March, warned local residents of coyote sightings, noting that one of the pests was being especially persistent. Kelly then went on to tell his constituents how to deal with coyotes if one approached.

During the summer of 2007, cats in my neighbourhood began to suddenly disappear, mostly at night. A few at first then en masse. People began to wonder if their pets were being kidnapped and held for ransom, if they had wandered into a black hole on one of the side streets, or if some other strange force was at play.

Then we realized an infestation of coyotes had discovered that Greely was a plentiful source of foodstuffs. After people began keeping their cats indoors, the coyotes became more emboldened and targeted small dogs, even during daylight hours when they were running free in their yards within viewing distance of their owners.

An outpouring of anger and grief was directed at our city councillor, then people called for city hall to take action. The lack of a meaningful response from city staff resulted in two local factions stepping forward.

One group wanted the coyotes trapped and removed or killed, while the other noted “the coyotes were here before us and new housing developments are imposing on their habitat”. As it turns out coyotes, or prairie wolves if you prefer, are not native to Ontario and were not here before early settlers arrived. Rather, they migrated from Minnesota in the early 1900s, and once they set up shop, they’re difficult to eliminate.

After much hand-wringing, many residents felt it would be most humane to trap and relocate these interlopers far enough away so that they could not find their way back to Greely, hence eliminating the problem. Unfortunately, this “solution” just created problems for families living farther down the road.

The moral of this story is if you can’t solve a problem, simply pass it along to someone else and let them deal with it.

NIMBY indeed.