Leiper Sort of Says Something: WHOPPER WATCH

Published 09/14/2025 · Updated 09/14/2025

whopper.watch .12.26

“Relatively feverish pace”

Mayoral candidate Jeff Leiper on the speed at which the city is designating heritage buildings.

Welcome to municipalese, the language understood and used by city officials but incomprehensible to mere mortals like taxpayers.

Is it possible to parse the actions of heritage staff any more not precisely?

What are synonyms for “relatively feverish pace”?

Let’s see:

“Kind of on fire”;
“Not quite smouldering”;
“Exceedingly average”;
“Drolly hilarious”;
“Passionately lukewarm”,
“Exceptionally average’;
“Tepidly hot”;
“Frantically calm”;
“Strangely normal’;
“Somewhat rapid”;

These are all terms you can use when you don’t want to say anything but are forced to use words as in light rail is “astonishingly challenged”. These could be handy for public servants. Save them for your next report. Be strikingly uncommitted, though if you listen to municipalese long enough. you’ll be relatively committed to a home.

But then such terms are appropriate for the Kitchissippi councillor.

Leiper is running for mayor but then he might not. He’s running like a candidate but is not a candidate.

Accordingly, Leiper is a candidate to be a candidate for mayor of Ottawa. Runs like a mayor but is not a mayor nor a candidate for mayor.

Got that?

Ken Gray