Jets Purchased To Guard New OPP Helicopters: BEAVERTON

The satirical website The Beaverton says that the new OPP helicopters to catch car thieves now have jets guarding them from theft:

The Ontario government has ordered a handful of high-altitude jet planes to try and stanch the rash of thieves making off with the helicopters that were purchased to staunch the rash of car thefts in the province.

“We can assure the public that our officers are being careful and not leaving the keys in the doors of the helicopters. We just may have underestimated how easy they are to hot wire,” explained Ontario Provincial Police Commissioner Thomas Carrique. “Turns out, once you get a copter off the ground, it’s pretty easy to get away with them. Luckily, these new jets should give us the height, speed, and if necessary, firepower to apprehend these carjacking criminals.”

To read this breaking story in The Beaverton, click here.

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