Senior Transit Pass: The Bulldog For Sale

“Council’s transit commission found enough money to cut a transit fare hike for seniors in half without raising taxes, but any relief for students and youth will have to wait – if it comes at all.”

Arthur White-Crummey, CBC News

Arthur … have I got a deal for you.

For a cool $1 billion, I can give the purchase of a lifetime … Ottawa’s best website named after a dog … yes … The Bulldog.

Unique in every way. It demonstrates the latest in digitative pixel algorithmainia and operates at zero emissions except for the occasional disposal of compost on a particularly bad post. Still, that’s better than a gas-power generated ebus.

You should take this puppy out for a spin. It goes so fast it’ll knock the grain right out of your overall cuffs that came with you from Saskatchewan. You ain’t on the Cereal Flats no more, Arthur.

Yup, you can spin this ridiculous OC Transpo senior fare increase any way you want. Sure our tender-hearted councillors have cut an increase in senior fares by 50 per cent but the final hike is up 60 per cent. That’s a tad more than seniors’ Canada Pension Plan, Old-Age Pension and Guaranteed Income Supplement went up.

If you’ve done any negotiating at all, you know in Saskatchewan like on a manure spreader, you know the first bid is a crock. The negotiations start when the seller throws that crazy proposal into the recycling bin. But with Ottawa City Hall and our naive councillors, the bidding ended there.

In other words, Arthur, you got taken and seniors got taken and most councillors got taken, from your story, they should be damned happy about it.

OK, so look. Maybe $1 billion for The Bulldog was my make ’em crazy bid. Let’s cut it in half to $500 million. Yup. Hey, and we’ll throw in Bulldog World Headquarters for free. That’s a deal unmatched in the annals of real-estate negotiations. Surely in Saskatchewan they told you not to look a gift horse in the mouth.

And how much does this hike save for taxpayers? Why $820,000. That’s less than Mayor Mark Sutcliffe spends on cab fare for a free flight to Paris.

Are you good for this, Arthur? Deal closes today. Why the Bulldog offer is rushed through just as fast as the 60-per-cent increase in seniors’ transit fares. Sixty per cent. Get that Arthur? Six zero.

So are you biting on this one, boy-oh? Cash only.

And if you need me after the Bulldog deal, just call. I’ll be on a beach in a foreign land that doesn’t have an extradition treaty with Canada.

Ken Gray

For You:

Transpo Flying Blind On Ridership: THE VOTER

Don’t Muss With Students On Fares: MULVIHILL

Bus Fares: City Closed, Uncaring, Myopic: WHOPPER WATCH

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