Turn Out Lights, We’re Not Home: BEAVERTON

11/07/2024

Canadians are turning out their lights so that Americans think we’re not home:

As Americans voted this week to determine the next President of the United States, every single Canadian has announced plans to keep their lights shut off in hopes that they will not get drawn into any mess that inevitably ensues.

Canadians are hoping to stay unnoticed above the 49th parallel.

“We Canadians normally keep to ourselves on this continent,” explained Mary Kilmartin, of Burnaby. “But whenever one of their American election nights rolls around, we prefer to just draw the curtains, park the car in the garage, and hope that they keep any armed insurrections on their side of the border.”

To read the full story in The Beaverton, click here.