I’m Just Ken


Okay, so it was a crappy weekend with rain, snow, ice and authorities steal an hour of your god-given time on earth but it’s Monday and it’s still kinda ookie so you all need something to cheer you up.

So I give you Ken. What more could you need? The dullest name in history and yours truly makes it even worse with a last name of a colour, if it is a colour, that makes this past weekend look like a ride on the Wild Mouse.

Yes, all the other names just seem like a waste of syllables. Ken, conserves syllables, which in these days of a sustainable earth must be good, plus it is carbon-free Jeff Leiper who has one too many syllables in his name and contributes, accordingly, to the demise of our climate-changed planet. He should just be Jeff Leip to make a greener world. Get on the peace train, Leip. Too many syllables, so much greenhouse gas from Leip and the rest of Ottawa City Council.

But I digress.

Below you’ll find the greatest tribute to a much-maligned name that deserves a finer place in the panoply of wasted-syllabic nomenclature.

I’m a bit biased and have a dog in this fight but this performance is brilliant. Shades of Marilyn Monroe.

It is Ryan Gosling from the film Barbie at Sunday night’s Oscars. Gosling, polysyllabic and a threat to our changing climate.

Happy Monday.


Ryan Gosling, Mark Ronson, Slash & The Kens - I'm Just Ken (Live From The Oscars 2024)

The greatest moment in Kendom.



Barbie still ignoring Ken. It’s gotta be tough.


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2 Responses

  1. sisco farraro says:

    Ken. Your comment concerning a “waste of syllables” brings to mind a thought that has often passed through my mind. In my youth people who sold stuff were salesmen. Many women joined the sales arena and rather than being known as salesmen insisted on being called saleswomen. Then, prior to the evolution of the non-binary trend, we added salespersons. Salesman, salesmen, saleswoman, saleswomen, salesperson, salespersons, salespeople, and likely more. Why not simplify everything while keeping the dictionary at a manageable size by just saying “I`m in sales”.

  2. Ken Gray says:


    Don’t forget Chair. We are governed by furniture.

    Style in The Bulldog is chairwomen or chairman. I know the pronoun Nazis would like to divide people into hims and hers or some other form of identification and they don’t like that I don’t.

    There’s a very good reason for that. You can tell from the gas-powered e-buses story that researching that takes a fair amount of time.

    So I don’t have time to research your pronoun. Would you rather that story or me using your pronoun … or mine for that matter, it?

    I opt for journalism over running around trying to discover your mysterious pronoun.

    When I was covering city hall (regional government) on Laurier Avenue, some gadfly told then regional chair(man) Bob Chiarelli that I called him the Regional Ottoman. I think he got a chuckle (I hope).

    Call me anything you like (and most people have) but I’m not spending my precious time finding out your PC pronoun.

    In another world with more time, I’d call you anything you like. But that another world ain’t here yet.

    So sorry.


    kgray (he, it, card-carrying out-of-fashion heterosexual)

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