Bitchin’ Traits Of Nightmayor Commish: TOP 10 LIST
The city has posted the position of Nightlife Commissioner.
The Bulldog, always here to help, examined all the qualifications for the Nightmayor Commissioner and found the characteristics of the ideal candidate. You’re welcome, City of Ottawa.
We do this by way of a Top 10 List:
Top 10 Best Traits For Ottawa’s New Nightlife Commissioner:
10. Must have all Liberace albums;
9. Is Graham Richardson busy?
8. Favourite song: You Gotta Fight For Your Right To Parrrrrrrdy;
7. Hold council meeting on York Street;
6. Tout the medicinal benefits of alcohol;
5. Employment core competency: do shots;
4, Education: optional;
3. Special skills; machine-gun beer;
2. Knowledge: Really?
1. Jim Watson.
Ken Gray
Maybe the Beastie Boys need work.
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I would add “Never been thrown out of the Laf.”
The Voter:
I thought that would be a requirement.
cheers
kgray
Aah, Ken, you need to read Ron’s piece today!
I’m trying to approach this from behind the high foreheads that will be making this decision over there at the Planning Department. Although you and I might think that being the kind of ne’er-do-well who would fail the standards of the Laf would augur well for an aspiring night mayor, I fear that such experiential learning may not rank highly in the estimation of the Grand Poobahs in the Planning Department to whom falls the task of selecting the Night Commissioner.