Why Police Office In Shopping Mall: TOP 10 LIST

top.10.list .new


Long-time funny guy Kosmo checked in with this brilliant Top 10 list.

So what’s Kosmo talking about?

Our Ottawa Police Service has decided to open an office to the public in the Rideau Centre in a year-and-a-half. Or that’s the OPS’ way of saying they don’t want to do it because nobody tells us tough guys what to do. We know better than you.

That said, the Rideau Centre is as good a place to do nothing as anywhere else … maybe better.

So the problem is in the ByWard Market … a real problem … but the police are going to a shopping mall.

And by putting a police office in the Rideau Centre, it keeps the crooks and gang-bangers in the market where they belong.


Top 10 Reasons New Police Office To Be Located In Rideau Centre:

10. Mall security can protect office;
9. Nine-to-five;
8. No Number 8 … stolen;
7. Bitchin’ food court;
6. Join mall-walking club;
5. Timmy’s;
4. Work part-time at New York Fries;
3. Maybe Phoebe Cates will show;
2. Chicks dig the uniforms;
1. Safe here, Market scary.


On front: Iconic photo of actress Phoebe Cates from the mall classic Fast Times at Ridgemont High.


ByWard Market’s On Cusp Of Unsafe: PATTON

OPSB Fires Vital Police Release Into Blackest Of Black Holes

If OPS And Services Board Got Tighter, They’d Need A Room

OPS: Market Office Takes 1.5 Years To Accept Public

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2 Responses

  1. David says:

    Well they certainly didn’t choose that location because of Oh See Delayo. Not that that mattered anyway, because none of them take pubic transit.

  2. The Voter says:

    #5 Not only is there a Timmy’s, there’s also a Second Cup, Starbucks and Michel’s if you fancy a change from the Horton franchise without having to venture outside.

    Have they already rented the space? That’s as good a way as any to fritter away some dough over the next year and a half. By the way, I hear they’re bringing back the blueberry fritter this year.

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