Pinhead Pols And Patronizing Staffers: WHOPPER WATCH

Published 06/21/2023 · Updated 06/21/2023

whopper.watch .12.26

“Reflect transit’s role in Ottawa becoming a “big” city; Reflect new neighbourhood connections; Be authentic; Have a rider-centric focus; Represent Ottawa’s diversity.”

The five major points of a $1-million publicity campaign for the Trillium Line startup sometime because OC Transpo won’t commit to a start date as translated by CTV Ottawa.

Mercy.

Here we go with the major points of the OC Transpo advertising campaign:

Big City:

Why do our pinhead politicians and staffers diminish this city by saying it is “world class” or now it is a “big city.” Just for reference, in Ottawa-Gatineau there are 1.4-million people; this is the capital of Canada; Ottawa is the capital of a nation that just passed 40-million souls; it is the capital of a G7 nation; and it has the best educated population per capita in a major city short of Washington D.C. So the propeller-heads who can’t give us a working and on-time transit system for more that $6 billion are patronizing the smart public of this city by saying we’re a big city now. We’re not a big city or a small city or a fun city or a dull city, we just are what we are. And that’s plenty good enough … well maybe not for the small minds at city hall (who think we need a Night Mayor) but for the average resident who is much smarter than your average councillor or staffer;

Reflect Neighbourhood Connections:

What does that mean? Are there systems that don’t connect neighbourhoods? That’s quite an accomplishment if you can build a rail line and not connect neighbourhoods. Could someone explain to a simple man such as myself how you build a transit system that fails to connect neighbourhoods? I don’t get out very much so speak slowly. Bet the ones that don’t connect neighbourhoods are not “world class”;

Be Authentic:

That’s an interesting concept. Does that mean OC Transpo has not been authentic until now? And perhaps not being authentic (whatever that means) is not a good idea. “Yes, we’re your OC Transpo. When our trains don’t work, at least they have less chance of derailing. We once had a transit system that was the envy of the world. Now it’s not even the envy of Rockland which, if the train derails, might be an unscheduled stop. Rockland, the garden spot of eastern Ontario. We take you there for a simple transit fare. How you get home is your business.”

Be Rider-centric:

“When our train stops during a weather event, we will cut you out of the train and lead you through a chain-link fence and leave you on a sheet of ice, in a city that is a sheet of ice, to walk to the next station to get an R1 bus. OC Transpo: We’re Rider-Centric!” Better advertising is word-of-mouth as in people will tell their friends what a pleasant system it is when the damn thing works.

Represent Ottawa’s Ethnic Diversity:

Is Transpo trying to say that different nationalities ride the train in different ways and that Transpo will accommodate each different group of people with its unique riding requirements? Or will there be different food being served on the train. You know, Caribbean food, African food, Italian food or WASP food (them’s my people who chow down on a baloney sandwich with mayo on Wonder White and wash it down with a two-per-cent milk. WASP soul food. Stored in Tupperware. Mmmmm). Here’s an idea: let’s make the train reliable for all people no matter colour, creed or religion. Reliability equity in a multi-cultural community.

Here’s What Ottawans Are Concerned About

Or you could spend a million bucks on an advertising campaign and not convince people to take transit in Ottawa. Oh, wait a second. That’s what they’re doing. Great.