The Leafs: The Joy Of Ottawa Hockey: QUOTABLE

“The Leafs live in the immediate moment because that’s the only safe place for them.”

Cathal Kelly, The Globe and Mail

Brilliant.

If you, like your agent, have been a long-suffering Ottawa Senators fan, one of the few joys you’ve had watching hockey over the last half decade or so is the Toronto Maple Leafs. Bless their extremely small hearts.

When the Senators fail to make the playoffs, again, the fun after that is watching the Leafs find new ways to lose. Because any worthwhile Sens fans wishes a pox upon the Leafs (who can’t spell their name) because … well, you just do. And what is best about it is that the fixtures at Hogtown outfits such as the Toronto Sports Network and Sportsnet (on a clear day they can see all the way to Scarborough) are all their predictions of a Leaf Stanley Cup in October. The Leafs are the NHL champions of October. April? Not so much.

Damn, there go all the parade preparations again.

The problem with the tall foreheads at the aforementioned Leafs (and you must like to dislike a team who each time you write its name, it shows up as a mistake in your spellcheck) cheerleading networks is that many have never seen a Leaf team win. The last one took home the Stanley beaker a hundred years after Confederation. That was a while ago. They don’t know what it takes to win. The same thing that coach Dave Smart used to tell his basketball charges at Carleton. Defence.

So the Ravens win every year. Someone tell the Leafs. Defence.

So name all the superstar forwards of the Leaves throughout their long history.

Now that we’re finished with that, name their great defencemen. Horton, Stanley, Baun … it goes on. And their goaltenders? Bower, Sawchuk, Broda … it goes on. These guys don’t score goals, they stop them. And they played hockey when the Leafs won, pre-1967.

When the playoffs strike, defence rules because it’s tough to score when your nerves are on vibrate. Same as basketball. But defence is easier. No figure skating necessary.

So what have the Loafs (hey, that got past spellcheck) had in the recent past? Few defencemen. Fewer goaltenders. Virtue and Moir as forwards. In fact, one of the Leaf defensemen is marrying Tessa Virtue and told the media she is teaching him to skate. That should work out.

So Kelly got it right. The Leafs live in the present because the past and future are tragic.

And thus the quote above that said everything your agent said after the quote in one sentence. And then Kelly had more sentences like that in the rest of his column.

Brilliant.

Ken Gray

The Leafs of the past.

The Leafs of today.

 —

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