What The Clown Prince Of Darkness Will Do


For those of you agog with brilliance of the search for a nightmayor, here’s what his or her goals will be once appointed.

This straight from the Nightlife Action Plan below which, no doubt, will revolutionize our community. Now will it stop the shootings in the market? Doubtful. But that would make a difference. Policing? Isn’t that something the city should know something?

Here is what the nightmayor will be about, beyond bread and circuses while Rome burns and trying to keep the public diverted from the abysmal failure municipal government in Ottawa has become:

  • Establish the framework for a Nightlife Commissioner Office for implementation in 2024
  • Promote city-wide and neighbourhood-by-neighbourhood participation of residents, visitors and businesses in the nightlife economy
  • Consider changes supportive of the nightlife economy while undertaking reviews of City by-laws, policies, procedures, and services
  • Establish a Nightlife Ambassador Council comprised of industry and community leaders
  • Develop an annual Nightlife Commissioner’s Report
  • Collaborate with Ottawa Tourism to promote nightlife experiences to visitors and advocate for new nightlife experiences through the Destination Development Fund
  • Develop a city-wide Nightlife Safety and Security Plan
  • Facilitate, with partners, new and diverse cultural and placemaking activities
  • Develop a virtual resource centre of tools and resources to encourage diverse, sustainable, inclusive and compatible nightlife experiences, events, and businesses
  • Identify opportunities to support the establishment of new mid-size venues (1,500-2,000 person capacities) for events and live music.

Given the city’s underwhelming performance on light rail and Lansdowne, can you imagine the entertainment industry taking the city seriously.

The city should not be in this field. It knows nothing about it. In areas such as transit where it should know what it is doing, the city just screws it up.

The nightmayor is a sign of horribly immature municipal governance.

Ken Gray


Not Boring, Just Stupid: PATTON

Listen: BENN

Bitchin’ Traits Of Nightmayor Commish: TOP 10 LIST

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3 Responses

  1. Bruce says:

    Bozo the clown showing the Three Stooges the way forward?

  2. Anderson Davies says:

    But, but… with fifteen minute cities in the future how am I going to get to the Byward Market? Will I have to buy carbon credits just so I can get mugged. What a shame what the city has allowed to happen there.

  3. The Voter says:

    This is priceless! The new hire is supposed to do this in 35 hours a week? And who do they think is going to serve on this Nightlife Ambassadors Council?

    Don’t worry, Anderson! This person is going to organize neighbourhood by neighbourhood nightlife so you won’t need to go to the Market any more. There will be entertainment and other festivities for you at a corner in your ‘hood delivered by the City! According to the Night Mayor’s mandate, he or she will deliver nightlife from 6 pm to 6 am which I’m sure will be a pleasant addition to your local community.

    One of my teachers in high school was a no-longer-young nun who had a list of saints and other people she would invoke when times were particularly trying in her classroom. I should have paid more attention and then I’d be able to call on them at times like these.

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